I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
