I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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