no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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