I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
