my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
