she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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