Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
