the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
