I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
