grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
