well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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