My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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