I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
