You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
