WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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