Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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