Me too!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
