every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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