i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
this is an emotional support booty call
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize