The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
