You're my little dorito
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize