we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
