Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
