You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
