Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize