i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
