It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
