Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
