So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
