You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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