there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
