I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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