C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
