have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
