I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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