I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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