My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
