He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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