After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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