I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
