Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
