yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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