this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
