She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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