Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
