i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
