her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
