I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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