Already got asked if we're dating
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
