dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
