did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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