I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Are we still banned from the library?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
