we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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