Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He better not be in your backpack
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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