I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
