I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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