i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
