Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
