My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
