I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I didn't notice because vodka
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
