am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
