My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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