too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize