he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
