i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
