I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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