Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
