its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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