Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
