Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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