3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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