things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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