We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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